Dear Blog,
 
My local Social Services people have failed to do a new assessment of any of my current complex needs. I was trying to see whether I could renegotiate for a twice weekly hair wash with them alongside my washing needs for which currently I have to pay privately. They had said previously that they don’t pay for hair washes as it’s seen as a want not a need. I Don’t agree with them on that, and nobody else I’ve spoken to agrees with them either. But this was asking for a new assessment to try and re-open negotiations and has come to nothing, and the deadline that I had to set with them is clearly now going to be missed. What this now means I simply have no idea! The constant lack of any 1 person to be a Care Co-ordinator, or main contact on this, is very fast becoming a constant issue and a very real ongoing problem for me.
 
My ongoing situation with my local mental health team who continues to procrastinate. The local mental health team are a shambles put simply. I’m abstaining from even asking them any more questions at all for now, as mistakes and breakdowns in communication keep happening. They keep on trying to keep me on standard care while I should, at the very least, be on enhanced care. Me speaking about my case to so many different people on the phone, who are not usually in any way familiar with me or my ongoing case or my life, is like a person on a Ferris wheel going up and down and never stopping. They say I’m so angry and cannot work with me. Well I deserve to be, since my fairly recent suicide attempt (see blog number 1) it appears very little is moving forward, apart from you may hear the words “case closed”, and I’m not always told or copied into what is really going on. I’m fed up and demoralised on this now, after being under so much strain for so many months. Certain professionals who think I don’t meet their criteria on paper, for example The Aspergers service, refuse to go to meetings as on paper at least they don’t think they have a role at such a meeting. By the Way I have a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome so you’d think at the very least I’d meet their own criteria for that wouldn’t you?
 
I have had 1 breakthrough. At last I have some advocacy involved, although if the issues remain as multi complex as they are, the individual criteria for the mental health team and social services start to become a very real ongoing problem. If they do not factor individuals own circumstances while applying their criteria, it means a near constant deadlock, and people being very defensive, with the words “she does not meet our criteria”. What that actually means in practice, in my view, is that my needs are so complex they cannot be met by doing half an assessment, e.g. just my physical needs. They keep their own costs down, while offering something that is not holistic. It never meets my needs and leaves me feeling angry, miserable and very upset, which intensifies my Multiple Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms. Such people can be very defensive and expect everybody else but themselves to compromise. I’m not helped that different speciality doctors can see my problems in a 100 different ways, one shrink thought my main problem was Borderline Personality Disorder while another person thought it was more OCD, everyone sees me very differently. Just how then are you meant to help or treat an enigma that is me?
 
The Handyman I sometimes use repaired a white blind on 1 of my living room windows. Blimey, the cord would just not pull up or down properly. This problem drove me completely mad, still it’s sorted for now thank goodness.
I would like to say a few words about the housing list in my area. My MS means I have to move again, but most of the flats that are already adapted or `sheltered`  are reserved for pensioners and I’m 35. I think it’s high time disabled people are considered equally alongside pensioners, sometimes disabled people like me are a lot more frail than some pensioners are that meet the criteria for such flats. I’d like the rules to be changed at some point bearing this in mind, I hope her majesty’s government hears me 1 day on this issue.
I’m looking forward to the Home And Away omnibus on 5* star tomorrow afternoon. I hear Brax leaves the River boys. Will Brax and Charlie ever get their act together? Will Leah take Elijah or Miles back or maybe snog Sid instead? Well there’s a 1st time for everything isn’t there? My favourite character in the Bay is April, The Obsessive Compulsive storyline she was involved with was very good indeed.  CrazyFilmstrip
 
I watched the “Maldonado miracle”, a social drama based on a novel staring Peter Fonda on Channel 5 this afternoon. A statue of Jesus in a church starts crying blood, but it may or may not be a young boys blood who is hiding away in the church (he’s an illegal immigrant), the blood type is different. The end of this film leaves the question open. My favourite character in this film was a blond waitress with two plats who clearly had a heart of gold. I’d give this film an overall rating of 8 1/2 out of 10. I only wish this film was available in region 2 DVD. Too many of these good films are only available in region 1.